Super Bowl Hangover

Yay folks, this is our two year anniversary. This was the first post I ever wrote for GoWF. It's not very good and I actually didn't even drink a single beer yesterday. We've come a long way!I hope you find joy in knowing that I will be fighting off vomit all day today. Already this morning, I nearly went into the bathroom on the Metro North train to throw up, which as you may or may not know, is arguably the most disgusting environment on the planet. Now I am faced with a lousy team meeting in 35 minutes in which various people will discuss action items for the week. Meanwhile, I will concentrate on not breathing through my mouth, so nobody will smell the gross scent of a random mixture of flavors, most notably stale beer, chicken wings, prosciutto, Chinese dumplings, and cheese. If you can’t already tell, I am really angry right now.This happens every year and I’m so fed up. Sure, I could learn my lesson, but I rather not and it’s time to put a stop to the pure stupidity of this my greatest grievance. Why does the blasted Super Bowl have to be on a Sunday?If you can tell me one single good reason why this is a good idea, then I will give up on my annual tirade, but I have thought this through in depth and there is not even one. Let’s think about it. Perhaps you are worried about the ratings? Dumb. It’s Super Bowl. Do you really think if you put it on Saturday night, people would actually decide not to watch it? On the contrary, this would likely increase viewing as religious weirdos across the globe could tune in, who might otherwise be doing some weird religious crap on Sundays.Or maybe it’s that Super Bowl Sunday is a time honored tradition? Dumb again. You A-holes do not have any problem ripping down historic stadiums to replace them with random monstrosities that look like bike helmets. Or my personal favorite, you put futuristic robots all over the TV (who do nothing but loosen up the whole game) during the games.I’m guessing the reason behind the Sunday Super Bowl is a thoughtless result of regular season games being played on Sunday. Granted, it seems logical that if regular season games are played on Sunday, why shouldn’t the Super Bowl? Let me explain why. It is a wholly unselfish cause I assure you. The world economy suffers a tremendous shock, as its entire workforce is utterly dysfunctional as they suffer through the day in sheer agony. The result over the Sunday Super Bowl is amazing when you think about it. There are literally hundreds of millions of people all over the world pretending to work right now. Every single one of them is staring at a computer screen just wishing the lights were lower and typing emails to other hungover friends.Maybe you are worried about interfering with the important Saturday night programming? I guess the thought of interrupting the most annoying ass clown on TV, Jimmy Fallon, on Saturday Night Live would be a devastating blow. I actually just brought this point up simply because I hate Jimmy Fallon and wanted to ridicule him. Ever since I watched Fever Pitch, I cringe at the sight of him and I hate how he does that cutesy voice where he acts nervous and runs his words together. Holy crap that movie sucked. Saturday Night Live is suffering from a blatant lack of drug abuse. Anyway, I’ll get back to the point. TV on Saturday night is bad; TV on Sunday night is good. Therefore, that’s another piece of ammunition in my fight against Sunday.I think I made my point loud and clear and it should be obvious that there is no good reason for the Super Bowl to be on Sunday. Good, I’m glad we got that sorted out. By the way, now it is Tuesday and I am really depressed, because I am realizing now that the sports abyss that is late winter is upon us.